Faced with death, we know what we live for.

I have a recurring theme in my dreams. For as long as I can remember, I've dreamed about apocalyptic scenarios; approaching tidal waves, volcanic eruptions, nuclear detonations.
It's the day, or the hours before the event, and I find myself challenged in some way about what I will do. There's no sense that I can avert the coming calamity - the dream will always centre around my response to it.
Sometimes I run, sometimes I try and find shelter, but always I try and warn and rescue. I've no idea why I have these dreams.
But I do know that I have found myself asking, since Valentines Day, whether or not I am ready for the coming wave. I found a lump before I went to bed on Valentines Day, and as a woman whose mother and grandmother died from breast cancer, it was difficult to keep every thought captive as I tried to sleep.
I reassured myself that it was probably just mastitis, because I'm still nursing, and it has happened before. Then I realized I was trying to find peace in a desired outcome, rather than in Christ, who is my rock and will be even though the outcome may be bad. Remembering how secure I am in Him, I was able to sleep.
The next morning, while preparations were underway for our trip to Glasgow, I went along to the doctors surgery. The Doctor was very thorough, professional and reassuring. He even called me 'Ma'am' which I've never heard an English doctor do before.

And then he filled out the early cancer referral form.

So, I'm waiting for my Oncology appointment to arrive now, and praying for a good outcome. Now, of course, there is every chance that it will be perfectly benign. I am not sitting under a guaranteed death-sentence, and I know full well that I will not leave this earth one second earlier than my Father has ordained me to.
But the big wave is coming at some point, and it's never a bad thing to be reminded of one's own mortality. I think of how clearly ridiculous it becomes to feel nervous about evangelism. What on earth can you be afraid of? I think of how imperative it becomes to engage in evangelism. How little time I may have to impress the law and grace of God upon my unbelieving father, and my three small daughters.

What matters to us, just before the wave comes, is truly what is important to us. As I ponder Isaiah 41:8-10, I know what is important to me, and what I remain commited to, when all is said and done.