I have a quota on nonsense, Mr Cameron, and it's been reached.

Well, apologies for bringing up politics again. I shan't do it again for a while after this.

But as a woman who has voted Conservative a number of times, I wanted to make some comment on Mr Cameron, the shiny face of New Conservatism. Aside from being fond of his bike and keen on glaciers, there's really not been much of any substance at all coming from the leader of the opposition. Now, slowly, there appears to be a trickle of policy information leaking out, and none of it appears to have the slightest bit to do with either the Conservative worldview, or the issues that concern the 'man on the street'.

I know that I have never woken up in a cold sweat over the possibility of more people building houses in their gardens. I have had quite a few intimidating and hair-raising experiences with disrespectful young 'hoodies', usually when I have my young children in tow - often in the park - that give me no desire to 'hug a hoodie' at all. In fact, it's made me wish I carried pepper-spray.

We happily make compost with our vegetable waste and t-bags, we re-use jars and I generally don't use the plastic bags at the supermarket. We turn lights off when we leave the room, we put on a jumper if we're cold, not the radiator, and I endeavour to make and mend our own clothes. Thankyou very much Mr Cameron, but I do these things because my mother taught me to be frugal, not because I have panic attacks about carbon emissions and glaciers.

We drive a 7 seater vehicle because we have three (and nearly) four children, and we have to put each child in a special car seat almost the size of your cuddly glaciers. We also value having an extra seat so that we can transport my teacher friend who comes to our house for respite because she gets worn down living in an area surrounded by those huggable Hoodies. Therefore, I am distinctly unimpressed that, even though we already pay car tax and exhorbitant petrol prices, you wish to tax us more because we're being mean to those blessed glaciers by not transporting our family in a wheelbarrow.

But mostly, Mr Cameron, I am deeply frustrated with the patronising notion that the only party that has ever produced a female Prime Minister feels the need to 'woo the women' with quotas for women MPs, and the irritating notion that as a woman, the policy that would interest me most is childcare costs.

This is from the Conservative party website, and I've quoted the portion that most gave me the irrits for its blatant flannel and complete lack of difference to current government thinking. I've put the meaningless lip-service flannel in green, and the policy statements that actually offer no choice at all in red:

It's up to us as a society to give mums the support they need. Some may choose to stay at home and that's a valid and worthwhile choice.

But the majority will return to work and that's an equally valid and worthwhile choice. Society shouldn't try to direct women but to direct help to women where it's most needed. Before the last election we agreed with the Government's proposals for extending maternity leave.

In addition we supported the idea of allowing mums to take the additional money but over a shorter time period. That is something we should consider again. Instead of imposing a choice on mothers, we should support the choices that mothers make for themselves.

Mothers who work should not be made to feel guilty. Nor should mothers who stay at home. Let us stop trying to tell families how to live their lives. Let us instead support the lives that families live.

...there are three principles that should guide my party when thinking about childcare and parenting.

Providing financial support for the childcare choices that families themselves make; not using financial support as a stick to force parents into a particular choice. That means looking at whether we can expand the kinds of childcare supported by the childcare tax credit.

Secondly, expanding the range of childcare choices available. That means ensuring the government does not seek a monopoly in the provision of childcare or nursery places and that voluntary and private providers are not crowded out.

And third, realising that government has a role in protecting the careers of women who want to take time off to look after their children, particularly when they are just born.


Right. So even though I am making a 'valid' choice to stay at home and raise my own children, and you want to 'support' my choice, that support essentially is a policy of nodding your head in smug approval, while you give my husbands tax money to the women who want to pay someone else to raise their children?

Forgive my lack of enthusiasm for such a socialist policy. And I do hope that, as you respect my choices so much, you'll understand that, while you don't put forward policies that address the glaring problems of the transport infrastructure, the health service, and an education system that produces ignorant illiterates, you won't be getting the vote of this particular woman.