Despite appearances, I have actually blogged quite a lot in the past week or so - you just haven't seen any of it. Life, online and off, has been somewhat fraught in places, and I've had to be careful that I don't use this blog to simply vent overwhelming frustrations - that's really what my private diary is for.
One of the difficulties of living in the world, fallen as it is, is that we don't get to spend all our time with redeemed folk, and even if we do, they're redeemed, not perfect. I rub up against all sorts. My family is a ramshackle collection of saved and unsaved, rational and completely stark raving bonkers.
My online friendship circle includes atheists, believers, pagans, mad people and sensible folk. And sometimes, I find myself in a place where I get a bit tired of the back-and-forth. There are some people who are friends who I utterly disagree with, and sometimes, it doesn't encroach on the day-to-day. But other times, it's the centre of things, and you have to have a bit of an iron stomach to face it.
And there's always the temptation to fudge a bit for the sake of the relationship, be it online or off. I recall a very dear unbelieving friend who once said to me, in an attempt to be consoling "Well, we're all Christians, really, aren't we." It was meant to be a statement, not a question, and it was in the context of a recent bereavement, but I couldn't just let that go, and unfortunately the friendship cooled.
I think the fear of that occurring (and it's happened since, too, and no doubt will again) is an idolatry that should be squashed, really. I don't subscribe to the doctrine of different beliefs not really mattering. I believe in truth, not 'truths'. That's one of the hard parts of walking as a believing Christian. There are going to be times when you have to tell someone that they're wrong, and that's rarely taken well initially, even if it does bear fruit eventually.
But ultimately, there's no good side to the idolatry of friendship. It won't help break your sinful pride to nod and smile all the time, either - what good is it to be universally liked by those who hate the Gospel, or refuse to accept its direction? If you want to keep the friendship eternally, you need to tell the truth. If you only want that friendship for this life, then it's not much of a friendship anyway.
1/10/2008
The idolatry of Friendship.
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5 comments:
Thanks for this helpful reminder, Libbie. Having just done a post on Jerry Bridge's book Respectable Sins (part of my usual Wednesday ritual) which dealt with pride, this was a good reminder: I still have too much pride left in my flesh. The "pride of having correct doctrine" doesn't only appear in doctrinal conversations or arguments. I see, having read your comments here, that it can occur when I'm talking to an unbelieving neighbor or acquaintance. They use that line about "many truths" and I'll just kind of nod knowingly and condescendingly, thinking all the while, "You poor sap. It's too bad you don't know what I know." May God have mercy on me.
God has blessed you with wisdom and humility, Libbie. I think we all struggle with "The Truth will set you free" in so many instances. It is always a good thing to be reminded of this.
Marvelous post. Edifying. And I need to be edified, and emboldened to speak the truth. thanks for shring
Some people within the ranks of the church are much more nasty than unbelievers. Of course, they may be unbelievers themselves. Perhpas the reason they are double nasty. Not that family memebers and non-Chirstians can;t be nasty, becasue they can. I was quite nasty before Christ changed my heart.
Seems now, when my heart spews some nastiness, the Holy Spirit is quick to bring conviction, repentance, and then asking for forgiveness. What a merciful Savior we do have!
Forgiveness is the easy yoke our Lord teels us about. Bitterness and pride are quite the heavy yoke.
This is an amazing and convicting post. I don't really know how to evangelize to my non-believing friends. On one hand, I fear that doing so will drive them away from the friendship (which is the idolatry of which you speak).
On the other hand, I am so unsure of my ability to share the Gospel that I beat around the bush when it comes to doing it, mainly because I fear that if I "mess up" I'll have ruined a dear friend's chances of entering the Kingdom. That idea, I believe, would fall under "pride."
This post makes me feel sad, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad one!
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