on holiday

Today I'm consumed with last minute preparations for our holiday. We're going way with friends from church, to the peculiarly termed 'houseparty'. We're going to stay in a boarding school for a week, sharing time together and enjoying some good teaching.

I've baked one of the easiest cake recipes I've ever used, as we're supposed to take cakes along to share for packed lunches. I'm just beginning to look forward to it - I have found the pre-holiday packing to be quite stressful.

Naturally expect no blogging for the next week, but I'll let you know how it went on my return.

on atheism

A proper, full-throatedly smug atheist graced Pyro with his 'wisdom' in the past couple of posts there. I will admit to being an atheist myself, in my uninformed youth. I wasn't the kind of breed of atheist that baits believers - I was simply a teenager who found it expedient to reject the existence of God so I could do what I wanted.

I was contented with this for a short while, but I soon became intrigued by the idea of a diety and quickly became a theist. That's not to say I was a Christian - I tried all flavours of belief - paganism, witchcraft, buddhism, Jehovah's Witnesses. Since becoming a Christian, those things have held very little attraction to me - but atheism, in dark moments when life seems very tough, has still a little pull on me.

But, as I said in the comment thread at Pyro, meeting a real life atheist cures me with remarkable speed. I haven't actually been struggling with atheism recently - but I reckon I've received a good dose of innoculation against it for some time to come.

on excuses

So Anne Rice has made a public declaration that she's no longer part of organized Christianity. All the usual reasons given - primarily boiling down to the fact that she doesn't much like Christians. It's a moment of spectacular 'having one's cake and eating it too'. She wants to remain a Christ-follower, but doesn't want to be identified with all the other people who follow Him too.

It's not a real option, and it's simple pride to suggest that it's possible. Whatever our personal differences, truly accepting Christ means we have to accept His body as our brothers and sisters. Disowning one's family because you think you're better than they are is not an act of bravery.

on nurturing a wobbly faith

One of the things I'm learning is that you have to snatch moments when you can. I'm overwhelmed with motherhood at the moment, and don't have space in the day for a deep quiet time. By the time I get to end of the day, I know I'm giving the last dregs of the day to God, which is somewhat guilt-inducing. Better than nothing I suppose.

One of the few moments I'm able to grab is the quiet hour when I have to sit in with Reuben to get him to sleep. He is a real challenge, and one of us has to sit on another bed while he soothes himself off to sleep - if we wait outside the room he is a real monkey and messes about. Once he knows eyes are watching him, he behaves. There's a spiritual lesson there somewhere.

So there I am, lying quietly beside him, with the potential for frustration on my part, and it occurs to me that this is a moment I can pray. So I lie there, silently praying, asking for patience, repenting for my lack of faith, asking for a blessing on my son as he drifts off to sleep. It's becoming an appointment that I look forward to, which is a step forward.